My goal for the year wasn’t to be more vocal. It was actually improving how organized things were. Can you guess what being more organized is “unlocking” for me?
Everyone knows I didn’t talk much in school. I knew what it took to keep my grades up, for the most part. My second grade teacher (who will remain nameless out of respect for her intentions) claimed she was going to “bring me out of my shell”. The joke was that she spent the remaining part of the year trying to put me back in that shell.
I knew how to be a “good kid” and just do as I was told. For the most part, that served my goals well. I was just kind of there, coasting through. kept my mouth shut and my ears open, as all our teachers used to recommend. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and found something everyone approved of. Everything was fine until I wanted change. Then the world attempted to crush me.
Let’s move back to what is going on today. I am getting more vocal again, sharing my opinions. Those opinions change. They adapt. They grow and they reduce on my command, not everyone else’s. My mind serves me now, not anyone else, and that terrifies a lot of people from what I have learned. What needs to happen is an understanding of stoicism. Everything is okay, and so am I. I’m just over here, settling my nerves finally and feeling actually pretty good about the whole thing. I’ll write more about this when I can.
